COLUMN: Be classy, put others first (2024)

Are you a classy person? Think about it.

A classy person is described as someone who is first-class, especially in manners, elegance, or style. It is just the opposite of crass, which means dull, grossly stupid, tasteless, insensitive and coarse. So, ask yourself again, are you a classy person?

I worked with a lovely girl once who asked me to teach her how to be classy. That is a difficult task as it is something they themselves have to learn and feel. Mainly it is just thinking of others first and being kind and clean and thoughtful. She wanted to change from the way she was raised at home, and she succeeded. It has to come from within the person but it can be learned. She is still a classy person in the way she talks and dresses and acts. Not because of me, but because she wanted to be something different.

First and foremost, classy people are thoughtful and kind and put others at ease before themselves. They are polite and mannerly and never think they are better or richer or smarter than the other person. They treat everyone the same way they want to be treated.

Just the opposite of classy people are those who are crass. They are dull, tasteless, insensitive, coarse, money-grubbers, blatantly materialistic and obtuse, slow, hard to understand and blunt. They lack humility and always want to upstage the person they are talking to. Maybe they feel inferior, but they come across as “better than thou.” So now, do you have class or are you crass?

I was raised by a wonderful mother who did not let the fact that we had no money stand in the way of being a class act. She checked each one of us kids before we went to school or anywhere and made sure we were clean. She believed that cleanliness was next to godliness and she made sure her seven children did not disappoint. She checked fingernails, hair, heels and teeth to make sure we presented ourselves well. We did.

It was not only her children that she scrubbed. It was her floors and windows and cabinets and rugs. No one had much back in those early days, but there was absolutely no excuse for living in filth. When I mentioned what crass people were, I failed to mention dirty, but some of them could use a bit of soap and water.

Mother used a Maytag washer and had to scrub by hand the really dirty work clothes on a washboard before she ran them through the washing machine, but she wanted our clothes to be as clean as we were. (This has nothing to do with cleanliness, but I loved wash days as Mother cooked a big pot of beans on the back of the stove on those days, and we had beans and cornbread for supper. I loved beans and cornbread then, and still do. It brings back such wonderful memories.)

A classy person must have good manners, which is nothing more than thinking of other people first. Opening doors, saying please and thank you and just generally treating others as we want to be treated are measures of good manners. Even if we don’t know one fork from another we can be kind and put the other person first.

When I was teaching my wonderful kids at Hillsdale I reminded them that gentlemen did not wear their hats inside or at the table. People do not talk with their mouths full. They arrive on time and do not keep other people waiting. They sit straight in chairs and don’t slouch. They use napkins. When they have finished eating, they thank their mothers or fathers who had prepared the meal and asked to be excused from the table. They even help clean up the table. These are basic rules and can be added to as necessary. Every mother has her own house rules.

Classy people never upstage others. They treat all people the same. They don’t interrupt while others are talking and they listen. They never say or imply that “anything you can do, I can do better,” or one-up them that whatever problem or illness or surgery they had, yours was worse or more important.

The most important thing about classy people is that money has nothing to do with it. One can be as poor as we were back in the day and still have class. They never flaunt money or even talk about it. Daddy always reminded us that people have money problems when there is only enough or if there is too much. Money does not define us. Our actions do.

Classy people do not brag on what they have or what they do or what they own or how they live. Maybe it sounds like I am bragging on my parents and how they raised us, but it was because they wanted us to be good citizens and educated and kind and thoughtful. They did their best to keep us from being snooty or snobby, or uppity, or conceited. I never heard either parent talk down to anyone or belittle them in any way. They were very accepting, forgiving, attentive, kind, courteous, friendly and generous with everything we had, with no strings attached.

We were raised to be grateful and appreciative for our family and friends and good health and to have a dedicated work ethic. We were encouraged to be humble and contented with what we had and to share it. My parents were sincere, unpretentious, level-headed, honest, caring, sharing, ordinary people who were just plain folks. They were God-fearing, hard-working farmers/ranchers who loved life to the fullest. Who could ask for anything more?

Haven’t you visited someone and was served crackers and cheese and it felt elegant and classy? It is all about the people and their actions. This dessert will please everyone no matter how you serve it. It is very easy and quick and makes a lovely evening of visiting

Classy Pie

2 eggs, well beaten

1¼ cup sugar

¾ cup flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 cup chopped nuts

1½ cups chopped unpeeled apples

1 teaspoon vanilla

Mix eggs and sugar and beat well. Sift flour and baking powder together. Fold into egg mixture. Add nuts, apples and vanilla and mix well. The recipe doesn’t call for it, but I add a teaspoon of cinnamon also. Pour into deep, buttered pie pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Serve like pie with vanilla ice cream. Yum yum.

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Goodrich writes a weekly column for the Enid News & Eagle​.Send your comments to: Peggy Goodrich, Food For Thought, P.O. Box 1192, Enid, OK 73702.

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